Both Have to Make A Marriage Work



Posted: Wednesday, January 06, 2010

by Julie Newman

One of the biggest mistakes that people make when they are having marriage problems is blaming thei
r spouse. It seems simple to blame the other person when things go wrong and say that they are not doing their part. However, you might be surprised to realize that fixing your marriage problems may have very little to do with fixing your spouse and may have a lot more to do with fixing yourself and changing your own attitude. At first it may be hard to take this approach and to get past the hurt to take the initiative to move forward. The problem is taking a new approach when it comes to your spouse and one of the best ways to begin this process is to begin assessing all the wonderful things that your spouse brings to your life. Trying to put a positive spin on just about everything that they do can really help you change your perspective on the role that they play in your life. A good beginning step in this process would be to write down all the positive attributes your spouse has and how those have influenced you. Then have this list with you all the time so you can read it on a regular basis to help reinforce all the positive, loving feelings you have for them. If you can get your outlook going in a positive manner this will cause a change in the love and respect shown in your marriage. Following that discover ways to bring the two of you closer together. This may entail having more alone time together, going on a date or doing something you both enjoy. Don't sleep apart, the physical intimacy at bed time is crucial for a healthy relationship. This is time to discuss issues, cuddle and make love, and the bonding is necessary for the marriage. Sometimes due to work schedules this is needed for each to get some sleep but minimize this as much as possible. By taking the lead and changing your attitude about your marriage can be the thing that helps your spouse see the light also. The steps here are very basic and may seem simple but they will be the momentum to turn your marriage around and not have to go to a marriage counselor. A few small changes are all it may take to have your marriage healthy and thriving. Visiting marriage counselors may be your first thought if you're having marital problems. But click on lightyourfire.com first to see what they have that might help you. Allow their representatives to assist you in finding a solution instead of counseling. View lightyourfire.com right now!
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